Counting the Cost

"I work from home and am a mom of two little ones ages 1 and four. I have a few tips/ideas that have worked for me:

1. Work when the kids are sleeping. - I typically schedule at least two to three hours of work time in the wee hours of the morning. This allows me to complete or at least begin on the most pressing projects for each day. I also do the same after I put the kids to bed.

2. See about a co-op. - I have a neighbor who will sometimes allow my kids to play with hers (near the same ages). I then will watch her kiddos when she has an errand to run, so I don't have to pay for the childcare and my kids have fun.

3. Plan an arts and craft that will occupy their time for a specific period. - I often will set my son and daughter up with activities such as Play-Doh, a craft and/or a game that they enjoy together.

4. Involve the kids in your work. - This isn't always possible, but sometimes I've found creative ways to have my son help me sort and organize client papers, help sort faxes, etc.

5. Incorporate kid time into your work day. - I try to spend at least two hours with my kids either doing an activity, visiting the library and the park. These type of activities allow me to take a break and enjoy the kids. If you don't spend quality time with the kids, it defeats the purpose of why I chose to work from home.

6. Screen calls. - I always screen my phone calls so I can focus while I'm working and not worry that the kids will be heard. I typically return the messages by email and/or phone while the kids are sleeping or will step outside to make my calls.

I hope these ideas are helpful. I have found that working from home is always a challenge, but it's also the greatest blessing a working mom can have, since you don't have a commute. Where we live if I worked outside of the home, I'd lose at least two hours a day in commute time.

**By the way I'm a freelance communications consultant who does project work as a publicist, trainer, coach and speaker." ~ Erika

"I work part-time from my home as a piano teacher. I was able to find a local homeschooling group and hire homeschooled teenagers to babysit during lessons." ~ Lisa

"I work from home, while caring for 2 infants for 10 hours daily. Though the children are not my own, I can relate. It took a couple months to get into a routine, but just like kitties (I have 2 of those, as well), babies can learn easily to appreciate a routine. On occasion, I will also have a toddler, or a 2-1/2 year old in the mix. We still have a routine.

When it is just the two infants (3 month and 7 month olds), they eat one hour apart. We diaper right before, or right after eating, and do a lot of cuddling and loving while holding for eating or diapering. These two always sleep more in the mornings, and that is when I get the majority of my work on the computer and telephone accomplished. I use the between-diaper/ feeding times in the afternoons to throw in a load of laundry, and do meal prep for dinner.

Establishing a routine, and not letting a little whimpering, crying or the occasional attempt at a tantrum throw us off schedule allows me to deliver well-fed, clean-diapered, well-adjusted, smiling little ones back to their mommies after they get off work. Those little ones return with big smiles on their faces to see me the next morning. Following our routine also allows me to get my exercise every day (that is not raining too much) by placing both in a twin stroller, and do speed walking through my neighborhood for 35 minutes. This in turn helps keep my energy level up, and my mind sharp for me to do more work on the computer and telephone at night when my husband gets in from work. He takes on the dishes and cleaning the floors, and running errands. I always designate one night during the week just for family time.

Sometimes, if a little one is not feeling well, they are right by me on the floor, or on my lap, while I work at the computer.

Something else that helps keep my energy up while working with 2 little ones, and running a home business, is that I take a great multi-vitamin, drink lots of water throughout the day, and I alternate fiber bars and energy bars or protein shakes for my breakfast and lunch. They are fast, and loaded with vitamins, too." ~ Melanie, FourPointGroup

"Since I don't know the nature of Cathy's work, I would first ask if she is being realistic. I did medical transcription at home for nearly 19 years, starting before my oldest child was conceived. Obviously I have a bit of experience with doing a job that requires a high amount of concentration with small children around! Since these are the choices she has made, Cathy may need to be willing to give up sleep or free time or social time with friends, in order to keep the family her priority.

I found it most helpful to not expect preschoolers to keep busy for more than an hour at a time. When I needed a longer stretch than that, I had to either stay up late, get up early, or hire a mother's helper to come in. At other times, we would keep a fairly good routine. I would work for an hour or so while the children played or watched a video. Yes, I used the TV as a babysitter. Then, we would break for snack time or lunch, some reading time, etc. After lunch I would encourage a quiet time in their rooms (they didn't necessarily have to nap, just be quiet in their rooms) while I worked for another hour. Then, we would have some outdoor play time, afternoon snack, then start the evening routine. Quite often I would have to then retreat back to my work area in the evenings while my husband took over. They would go out with me in the mornings to do the pick up and delivery. We would have regular weekly trips to the library, a more or less regular time to go to the grocery store, and so forth. I did hire a half day a week cleaning lady during those years as well, just to ensure I didn't spend all my free time cleaning.

There were times I had to turn down extra work, and plenty of times I gave up social time or some other activity I really wanted to do, in order to not shortchange my children any further. Probably the "biggie", particularly if you intend to work at least half time at home, is to say NO to some of the volunteer work, play groups, etc. You really have to be in working mother mode, even being at home, to stay successful at the job and with your family." ~ Christy

"I’m a mostly work from home mom. I’ve worked from home since before my 2 1/2 year old daughter was born. So, maybe having worked out the bugs prior to her arrival made it a bit easier once she arrived. Once she arrived and was taking 2 naps a day, I set her up for an hour of independent play time in her play place or on the floor of my office. As she got older, I moved her to her own play space. I have a separate office space that is the converted front porch on our house. Her play area is in the baby-proofed living room. There is a big window between my office and the living room. I can have it open if I need to, but closed it provides me quiet space to work and her some solitary play time. This way I had my eyes on her. I worked for about an hour of her awake time and then during her naps and once she went to sleep at night. Now that she is older, its a bit easier.

I have scheduled my week according to my daughter’s needs. She is very social, so at 18 months she was ready for a mom’s day out program that runs 2 mornings a week at our church. So, Mondays and Weds. mornings 9:30 am to 1 pm are work time. I attend a sales meeting on Mondays and call on clients afterwards. On Wednesdays, I schedule all my non-child-in-tow stuff like my doc appointments, errands, etc. I also try to schedule client meetings at this time or if I need to do something around the house without her underfoot I do it on Weds. After picking her up from Mother's Day Out, she goes down for a nap and this is when I do in office work – return phone calls, filing, marketing, etc. On Tuesdays my daughter has a play day at her grandmother’s house with her cousins. This is great fun for all of them and for about 5 or 6 hours I have time to work. So, Tues. are my out and about client days. I’m either meeting with people or at my home office on the phone. Granted I am a mortgage broker and I chose to work only 25 hours a week, but with discipline I can do it and my daughter never even notices. My husband has Fridays off so if I didn’t get something done during the week, I can get it done in either the morning or afternoon. Rarely do I take the whole day to work. Thursdays are MOMMY and DAUGHTER day. We play, go on an adventure, etc. Absolutely no work and everyone knows it. She has my full 100% attention all day.

If I follow these routines, I can get a lot done in a day. But, I only have one. We’ll see what happens if #2 comes along." ~ Cara

"I've been working at home for 18 months now, usually 5 to 8 hours a week, but sometimes as many as 20. My advice: If you can work around your husband's schedule, do it. I'm able to work at home during the morning on the days my husband works second shift. He takes care of our toddler (my big girls are in school).

Make a deal with your husband that he'll do the kitchen clean up once or twice a week so you can get to work as soon as the kids are in bed. Have a friend/neighbor/relative you can call on for babysitting when deadlines are looming and you're in a crunch. Trade sitting time, or agree on a fair hourly wage. When I had two huge projects with two different clients this winter (the projects weren't supposed to overlap at all but timelines got adjusted after I accepted them), I arranged with my neighbor to watch my son one or two mornings a week. It was only for a couple months... I don't think he was scarred from the experience :) Sometimes I paid her and sometimes I'd watch her kids and we'd trade hours.

Draw a firm line between work and family. It's not easy, is it? :) But it's essential. I tell my clients I set aside certain hours to work and outside those hours I'm off duty.

Do NOT work on Sunday (that means household chores, too). No matter how hectic the rest of the week, no matter what kind of deadline is looming... leave Sunday for God and your family. You can't believe how much stress it relieves when you know you have a real day off coming." ~ Catherine

"My employer of 20 years gave me a fabulous part-time opportunity. After resigning to stay at home, I started back to work (mostly from home) when my youngest boy was 14 months (and his brother was 3 years old and in part-time preschool). I made sure that my office was setup efficiently so I could take advantage of any chunk of time (whether 15 minutes or 3 hours). I had an early bedtime for the boys and did much of my work after my husband returned home. My husband works 4-day work weeks, so that extra work day is a treasure for my working time. My employer is located minutes from my home, so I can run in to pickup things when ever necessary. Modern conveniences of computers/email, fax machines and more are indispensable!

Some tricks for getting blocks of time for office work:
* Maintain a schedule. Absolutely critical that the kids know the routine and are fed and cared for on time! Be sure lots of mommy-time with them is on that schedule.
* Have fun boxes ready to pull out for the kids to keep them entertained (special toys/games that they don't have unlimited access to).
* Naps are essential. If you don't need one, it can be a great opportunity to attack a chunk of office work (not house work).
* Only do housework when the kids are up and underfoot. This sounds ridiculous, however, I found that with some creativity the kids can help with the household chores (or at least be in the room with you) and that way you aren't eating up precious down-time when you need to be working for your employer.
* Last, be flexible. Little ones will make it clear when they have had it up to their eyeballs with your office work. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, log off the computer and start playing. After all, that is why we try to do it all!" ~ Paula

"The most important thing is to make it clear to the kids that your “work” isn’t an option. It has to be completed. It may be hard at first for them to understand but just keep at it. Even though they may not understand the concept of “work” or “paid employment” they will eventually understand that mom’s work is part of the family’s routine. It makes it easier if you can do your work at the same time every day/week. My kids are now 5 and 9 and I do my work pretty much at the same time every week. So they know when I am going to be at “work”. That is not to say I don’t get interrupted. But it is short interruptions like “Mom can I have a snack?” Another thing is not to apologize. You aren’t sorry you are working at home, are you? So instead of saying “I am sorry I can’t play right now because I have to work” you could say “After I finish my work I can play.”

When my kids were younger, I would put them to work with me. I had an extra calculator and an old keyboard that they played with. I gave them scratch paper and pencils. My oldest would sit at my feet and type away on his calculator and keyboard. When he tired of that he would color or get his blocks and build by me. He liked to be in the same room as me. When my other son grew tired of the calculator and keyboard he would go in his room and play. He didn’t have to be in the same room as me, as long as he knew where I was. When they reached 4 yrs old they were allowed 1 hour of TV per day. If they wanted to use some or all of their time during my work, that was ok. But once they reach the 1 hour mark the TV went off. I also laid out a snack for them like cheerios and a drink. Other things we did were Play-Doh, Legos and matchbox cars. The thing to remember is that kids need to be able to entertain themselves for a period of time. So you working at home will help your children learn to do just that. It is also going to teach your kids that paid employment isn’t just driving to the office and working 9-5, Monday through Friday.

I have been a work at home mom for 9 years now and it has been wonderful. It is such a blessing for me to be able to stay home with my kids and have paid employment. You will have a period of adjustment but you and your kids will find a rhythm when it comes to your work." ~ Anonymous

"I started this practice when my children were very young, long before I started working from home, but it works well for the same purpose. When I'm on the phone, it's inevitable that one of my children will want my attention, despite being reminded many times that I am not to be bothered while on a work call. We finally came up with a signal...I hold up my crossed index and middle finger as a sign. This tells them that as soon as I get off the phone, they will get 1) a hug from me (thus the crossed fingers) and, 2) my full attention to their need. It's a silent reminder to leave Mom alone for a few minutes and they don't feel neglected since they know they will get soon get my attention. Of course, all signals are off if there's blood or danger involved in the need for interruption!" ~ Sheri

Editor's Note: Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond.

...of Balancing Work and Family

Talk It Out:
Working at Home with Kids

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...of Balancing Work and Family

Talk It Out: Working at Home with Kids

Responses:

Talk It Out:
Working at Home with Kids