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Talk It Out:
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"I
have found it helps most
to model good manners and
constantly remind them
whenever they have a slip.
It also helps to enlist
the aid of the ‘House
Fairy’ (www.housefairy.org).
You can subscribe for
extra goodies, but there
is a lot of free help on
the site." ~ Robyn,
AZ
"Persevere!
Your children are still
quiet young, so just
keep at it. Gently and
consistently correct the
faults you see in them,
and don't allow your
standards to slip for
any reason ( i.e.: don't
let them off with bad
manners just because you
have visitors and don't
want a fuss). Above all
remember that you --
the adult in their lives
-- set the example, so
make sure that your own
behavior is up to
scratch. Believe me,
children always behave
better away from home. I
felt the same as you,
and it can be really
discouraging. Now my
daughter is 17 and not
only do I receive
compliments about her
manners, but she herself
notices bad manners in
others! ( I'm still
working on my 12 year
old!) Give it time and
don't give up. The very
fact your concerned
shows you'll make a
success of it!" ~
Dessie
"I find that the more stressed out I become about my daughter's (age 5) manners, the less likely she is to respond, and the more snappish I can become. However, when I remember that she is an innocent child, learning her path in the world, and that it is my job to guide her, I can approach the situation with more humor and kindness, and then she tends to respond beautifully. One practical way to do this is when entering a potentially tough situation (dinner out, for example), I say, 'I know that you will do a fabulous job of having great manners. What good manners will you use today?' Then she tells me her answers ('not talk with my mouth full,' 'not interrupt,' etc.). By giving her a chance to be successful before we even start, she feels powerful…and I feel relieved. When she slips up, I say, 'Oops! I think you forgot!' instead of getting upset with her, and she's able to course-correct on her own. Children want to succeed, and to please, and I think that this method works well for both parents and children." ~ Kristina
"Manners
at our dinner table are not
always what I think they should
be. However, when another
adult tells me how polite or
well-behaved my children were in
a situation that didn't include
me, I smile knowing that what
I've been trying to teach them
for years has taken root."
~ Nancy
"I have five
children, now all grown, who have always been a delight
to me. They are both respectful and kind, and always
have been. They have never been rude to me or to their
father. Two things helped them grow up that way. One was
example: children instinctively emulate what they are
shown. If anything in our household was not pleasing to
God, the best place to start making change was always in
the parents. If I had discourteous children, what
I would do is make sure their parents were leading the
way in unfailing courtesy, kindness and humility.
The second thing that helped is that we always
listened to our children, took their views into account. and
explained things to them, endeavoring to see things from
their point of view: They were never asked to cooperate
with something they could not understand. For example,
'Don't run' became 'Don't run because the pavement is
uneven here, and this is the place where the dustman
tripped and fell under the dustcart'; and 'Come here'
became 'Come here because I have heavy bags of groceries
to carry and I can't run after you if you take a wrong
turn and you are too far off to hear me call'. They
cooperated with a good grace when they understood the
reasons. Long-winded perhaps, but seems to have
been effective!" ~ Ember
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