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Talk It Out:
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"My father died from
pancreatic cancer (in a month)
three years ago right before
Christmas. His last wish was
that I not let my kids forget
him. He had worked for Coca-Cola
for 30 years and he wanted each
of my kids to have a Coke
ornament. I took that idea and
ran with it. I found Coke fabric
and made a tree skirt and angel
for a 4 foot white Christmas
tree. I gathered Coke ornaments
and put up a tree just for him.
I set up that tree every year,
Dad's tree. I also place a nice
picture of us right before he
passed. It gives me some comfort
and keeps him a part of
Christmas." ~ Mary Ann
"I
am so sorry about the loss of
your son. The holidays will be
hard without him. I lost my
father, very unexpectedly, last
November. We were right in
the midst of the 'holiday'
season. It was very hard not
having him there. But doing
things like making your son's
favorite cookies, and I made my
Dad's favorite cake, helps allow
people to remember and
acknowledge the loss. Once the
holidays were past I was
actually able to look back
fondly and realize that it is
terribly sad to not have him
with us, but we were still able
to gather as a family and
celebrate the beauty of God's
Son redeeming the world through
his birth. The circumstances of
this world, no matter how
painful and horrible, cannot
change the wonder of God's love.
That is a truth you can cling to
when the joy of the season seems
lost." ~ Stacey
"I
miss my grandmother terribly.
She passed away close to 5 years ago
at age 95, and I have many fond
memories of our times together.
Mostly, I loved having her (and my
entire family) to my house for Easter,
and she had a special fondness for my
devilled eggs. Naturally, I always
made extras for her so she could have
some at home to enjoy later on. To
this day, I still make the extra eggs,
and we all take one of the eggs, hold
it high as a toast to Grandma, and
gobble it down. It's our family's
way of remembering her with one of her
favorite things. I can't
remember who held up the first egg,
but it helps us get through one (of
many) holidays without her.
"My granddaughter passed away at
the age of 2 (13 years ago). My daughter buys an angel ornament
each year and places it on the tree along with the ornaments for
her 2 boys. When things changed for me after losing parents, I
decided that I would go into my kitchen alone for 1/2 hour and
just remember them on Christmas Eve. I then gave the rest of me
and my time to the living.
I had to remind myself that they
(deceased family members) would have wanted it that way and
no way would they want the family to be sad because they weren't
there. On the internet is a beautiful poem about spending
Christmas in Heaven this year. It is beautifully done and a
real blessing to me to re-read it each year." ~ Dora
"My mom died about 16 years ago. My sister and I do at least one random act of kindness in our mom's honor because that is how she lived her life: showing God's love through her constant acts of kindness. Then we get on the phone (we live many miles apart) have a cup of tea/hot cocoa and share what we did and why we chose that act of kindness to honor our mom. This always leads into great discussions/stories about Mom and our growing up years. It's also some WONDERFUL time spent with my sister!" ~ Kristie "Please know that I am praying for you during such a difficult time. Though we have not had such a loss ourselves, my husband is in the USAF also and is on deployment #3. We've discussed how to deal with the possibility - for my sake and for our children. I love your idea of making the favorite cookies to keep your son in the holiday. Another way to keep him near would be to remember his brothers/sister- at-arms who are still fighting to protect us. While there are some who are deployed who receive too many packages, there are others who receive almost none. One web site (www.anysoldier.org) has contact points to send packages to, and they can ALL always use letters or cards to cheer them - year round! Another way would be to host a gathering for local military folks who can't go home for the holiday (if you're near a base.) There are always men and women who are needed at work on Christmas day and who can't travel to see extended family. When I was in the Navy I always loved getting invited to a local 'aunt's' house or the parent's house whose soldier could not come back to our location for some reason. It was like 'trading families' in a positive way. God bless you." ~ Melissa in MD
"What a wonderful idea.
Why not send a box to the men and women in his unit? They would
love a goodie package from home and keep him in their memory. You
could also make a donation of a toy or book he would have
enjoyed to your local food shelf. They usually give out gifts to
needy families at Christmas. You could write a note along with
the gift that it is in memory of your son." ~ Sandy
"We lost my husband on Thanksgiving. I no longer set up holiday decorations, but my son and his girlfriend have decided to cook, have us sleep over, and celebrate as much as we can. Unfortunately, there is no time frame as to when the pain goes away. Just know that it does, and your loved one is always with you, especially at those times." ~ Anonymous "I too have never suffered such a loss, and my heart goes out to Kris. As for ideas for Kris' keeping her son in Christmas, maybe she could find some charity to donate to (a nominal amount or service) in his name, or something similar that would ongoing to keep his memory going. He will always be there for Christmas." ~ Charlene "Some thoughts: Send some of the cookies overseas to his unit. Also, if it's not too hard, hang the ornaments that remind you of him (put up the decorations he loved to see). Give to a charity in remembrance of him" ~ Jen "The first Christmas after my Mom died, I made each family member a tree ornament with a picture of Mom's smiling face. Now every year each person can hang it on their tree and see Mom smiling down on them. Some chose to keep it out all year and hang it in a place where they could see it every day...on a cubicle wall, in the car, in the kitchen." ~ Patty "Last Christmas, we had just lost our twin baby boys. They were stillborn at 5 months along. We ordered little silver cradle ornaments that were personalized with their names and the date. We got an ornament for ourselves, as well as for our parents. My mom found a set of cherub ornaments that she bought for herself, as well as a set for us. We went to the grave on Christmas Eve, and I put an angel on the grave. This year, we are reeling again, as I experienced a miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks. The best thing to do, though, is to concentrate on the true meaning of Christmas-Christ came to earth to die so we will see our babies again." ~ Anonymous Editor's Note: Thanks to these subscribers for taking the time to respond. |
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