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Talk It Out:
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"I have found an interesting
coupon strategy. I found out about www.cutouthunger.org. Every week, you can print out a list of what's on sale at Kroger and what coupons go with it. The philosophy is: use the largest cents off coupon for the smallest item, thus saving the most money. Along with this is the idea of buying multiples when they are on sale. It requires collecting Sunday circulars and organizing them by date. I also go to the newspaper recycling place and go through thepapers, collecting the circulars from weeks past, and also many from the same week. When something is a great buy, you can buy many of them. Each week the printout will tell you what circular you can find the coupon in and what is on sale. (Valassis will have a "V" next to it, and Smartsource will have an "S". The names of the circular can be found at the top of each coupon circular) It is really handy and has made shopping at Kroger surprisingly inexpensive. For some reason, I have only found this service available at Kroger. If someone were organized enough to put the list together for other stores, wouldn't that be great? To me it is so time consuming to go through all the flyers in the Sunday paper. Some dear person at this website does it all for you every week. And the icing on this cake is that you can get extra things you find on sale to donate. At the end of the month you can have a whole box of food and grocery items that you can donate that cost you very little." ~ Chris |
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| "Some years back I helped a single mom with 3 small boys by picking up all her laundry each week and taking it to the laundrymat. I didn't have a washer and dryer of my own at the time and had to take my clothes anyway. I also was on a limited budget but God always provided the extra quarters to get the job done. I brought the clothes back all folded or hung up and all the mom had to do was put them away. Not only did this give her more time to spend with her boys but it also took the load off her knowing she had one less chore to do. This service requires more of your time than your money but so appreciated. Sherry | |
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"You should check out
Freecycle.org and sign up for your area of the country. People
are giving things away all the time instead of filling up our
landfills. You could find a lot of items to help these moms that way,
and the rule is: It has to be free to be listed on their site." ~
Chris
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"This was probably on your web
site already, but . . . For saving with coupons, I recommend going
to www.cutouthunger.org
(it redirects you to www.couponmom.com).
By clicking on a drop down menu for your state, it will give you an
option of stores, and matches current coupons with sales at your
local stores. It even lists items that are good prices for charity.
This is a free web site." ~ Linda
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| "Some of our local grocery stores have buy one, get one free. You can take advantage of those sales, buying one for the single parents and keeping the other for you. Also, grocery stores and Wal-Mart often have sections dedicated to clearance items, whether it be food or seasonal items. I often look there for items that I use or want to try. I also stock up on gifts from the clearance section." ~ Anggie | |
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"I think
Angel and others who want to help single mothers should write all their
elected representatives and ask that some teeth be put in federal and state laws
so that absentee fathers MUST pay their child support, the full amount, every
month, on time -- or go to jail until they do!
Coupon
cutting, grocery shopping techniques, giving them hand-me-down clothing, etc.
are penny-ante compared to the thousands of dollars that haven't been paid to
the children because an irresponsible father would rather leave his family and
have a swinging lifestyle, complete with a boat and a sports car in many
cases, rather than support the babies he helped bring in to the world.
I know the
federal government often takes child support from income tax refunds, and some
states garnishee wages, but this doesn't begin to solve the problem. In the
case you cite, the father can't even be located!
I know of
cases where men quit good-paying jobs so they would not have to pay child
support, then when the youngsters turn 21, go back into the workforce.
One man I
know let his mother support him and she even bought him a brand-new
pickup truck. He quit a $40,000 a year job just so he wouldn't have to pay his
ex-wife any money for their daughter.He also had children by another, former
wife he was also doing this to.
Another man,
my cousin's ex-husband, quit work and became a 'housewife' to his gay partner
for 20 years so that he wouldn't have to support his son and daughter. (My
cousin had no idea he was gay when they married...)Then when his kids
both graduated from college, he got a job in the medical laboratory field
and makes a huge income.
Meanwhile,
all during those years, my cousin worked two jobs -- including being a
cashier overnight at a 24 hour Wal-mart -- just to put food on the table.
Because she could not afford to send her kids to college, her son had to join
ROTC for his college education, and when he graduated, the Army then sent
him to Iraq. He could've gotten killed over there.
The horrible
thing is, when fathers don't pay for their families, the
children not only have to go without needed things, but often the mothers have
to apply for assistance and we taxpayers have to foot the bill.
But unless
families -- men and women who are leaders in their communities and churches -- speak
out, the elected representatives won't do a thing about it because they often
dismiss single mothers as being unimportant. Married men who are heads of
families need to let their legislators and Congressmen know that this issue is
important to them, too. It's not just a 'women's issue,' but a matter of
family values, because not doing anything about it causes many children to
unnecessarily live in poverty." ~ LB
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"In regards to helping when your own budget
is limited, I would suggest going directly to the single mom and asking what
would help her the most: providing daycare, doing some grocery shopping, errand
running, yard care, providing some homemade freezer meals, housekeeping, etc.
before I invested a lot of time in clipping coupons and buying things that she might not have any use for. If there are specific name brand products that she usually buys then great, just watch for and clip out those coupons. But I imagine what she needs the most help with is finding some down time for herself and with her kids." ~ Sherrie | |
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"I think it is
reasonable to pick up some extra food during a grocery trip. That’s what we
always do to support an orphanage out of the country. I add things to my list
and then it’s only a small addition to my bill. Depending on how much you are
trying to buy for the families will determine if this will fit into your budget.
Coupon clipping will help IF you are clipping for items you would normally buy.
Oftentimes the generic brand is cheaper than the name brand with the coupon.
That’s not always the case though. I’m a coupon clipper who pays close
attention to the sales. If you catch something on a good sale, the coupon is
definitely worth it! Another suggestion would be
to make an extra meal when you are cooking for yourself. That may even be more
welcomed with a single mom who is working 16 hour days. No prep time for her,
except pulling a meal out of the freezer a day or two beforehand. Buy the
inexpensive disposable pans and double a recipe that you’re making for your
family every now and then. Freeze one of them and label with the content and the
cooking directions. That gift would likely be less expensive but would feel like
you were giving more. | |
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"We help a widow by
having her over most Sundays and holidays for meals. For Christmas and birthdays
we give her gifts of articles she needs most—clothing, towels, blankets, a
fan, a new pillow, whatever we note she needs most. I
try to send her home with fresh fruit, veggies, home canned goods or meat from
my freezer. My husband keeps her car maintained and fixes things for her around
the house. We hold an account for her at a small store near her home where she
can charge gasoline, milk and bread should she need them. (She uses the account
only when she is strapped--once a month or so.) We pay her medical alert bill at
the local hospital since she lives alone. Sometimes I give her a small amount of
cash. We also mow her lawn. We ask her to baby-sit for us sometimes so she can
have a way to give back. We do this instead of
tithing to a church because we believe that God has instructed us to care for
the poor among us—orphans and widows especially. How can we pay for church
buildings and staff when there are poor in our churches existing on third world
incomes and not helping them? Our income is limited—yes. We have 7 children,
so we choose where and how we 'tithe.' Often this runs more than 10% but then
10% was an Old Testament instruction and the New Testament only says give. It
doesn’t say a percentage. A tithe can be more than money—our love,
attention, and actual hard labor are gifts too. This woman has been a blessing
to us. We love her and she loves us. She had no family and now she has us and we
have her added to our family." ~ Elece | |
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"This story tugged at me personally. I,
too, had to work 2 jobs beginning at 8am and going to midnight for 2 years
after my husband suffered a near-fatal accident. I had 3 children who I began
homeschooling during this time as well. I also sell Avon, and was juggling
that in. NOW my daughter is a single mom.
My suggestion is to nix the Sunday coupon idea, and think bigger. We had help in the form of our homeschool group combining efforts and filling our porch with items from our local warehouse store. Our church members physically came and helped finish the addition to our home, which is what caused the accident to my husband. Friends/family took turns babysitting, bringing in meals, and one man even changed the oil in my car. I would suggest a co-op be formed at the church. Share your burden with the pastors and church members and see if you cannot form a club that combines to help these women. Some people have financial resources to share, others are great at couponing already. Some may want to have bake sales, some may want to babysit. Maybe a girl's night out where the church nursery is made available to these women so that a few women or older teens can watch all the children at once. Get the youth involved -- they need a good cause! They can recycle, have car washes....big problems need big solutions. Bless you for your heart!" ~ Eva | |
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"Angel’s help to
single moms does not have to be financial to be greatly appreciated. When my
husband deployed a few years back, I was home 'alone' with 5 children and
another on the way. I got to find out that real quick that single moms really
appreciate time, a home cooked meal they didn’t have to put together, or
simply a phone call now and then. Our church was great at supporting me in
ways I never had thought of helping others. One volunteered to do our laundry
occasionally, another brought over home-baked cookies every 2 weeks. One
college student I’d never even met picked up my groceries for me each
week—I just put together a list and gave her the money. She went to the
store, brought home my groceries, and even put them away! It was such a
blessing. Another family called and set up play dates to take all the
children, then invited me to join all of them for dinner in the evening. I had
a free day, no meal to prepare, and no dishes to wash. Sure, money is one way
to help, but the gift of time should not be forgotten. I probably would
have started feeling embarrassed to have people giving me financial help at
that time, but I was able to appreciate their gifts of time because I saw that
such gifts were ones I could pass along to others as well. There are many
chores we all have to do to make our lives run. A vacation from any of them,
even a short one, will bless a single mom. | |
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"There is a wonderful website called 'Cut
Out Hunger' that lists sales by states and stores. The coupon organizer
allows you to see which items will be reduced by what percentage using a
combined sale/coupon. I've found that often items that such as shampoo,
deodorant etc are FREE when combined with a sale/coupon, as are some treats such
as gum or soda. I've used these free items to help our migrant health program
through our church. Organize coupons by the category that best suits YOUR memory. I use envelopes to divide the coupons into each category then put the envelopes into a small check sized expanding file in alphabetical order. I gather any coupons I plan to use when planning my shopping trip." ~ Terri |
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"I use as many 'buy one - get one
free' coupons as I can find and give the free one to some one in need.
Shopping at stores that double and even triple the face value of coupons is
a great way to save money. Each week the savings from the use of
coupons could be put toward groceries or items to donate to the mothers and
babies.
The website www.couponclippers.com
is a great source of coupons. They post new ones daily and you may
purchase coupons for a very small service fee. Ask folks at your church
or any other organization to which you may belong for ideas. eBay is an
excellent source of income from cleaning out your closets or garage.
Shopping at thrift and consignment shops is a good way to find bargains on
baby and household items. One persons trash is another persons treasure.
I hope these ideas help. I have used them all." ~ Carolyn
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"Offer to babysit for the single moms.
Then the mom gets time out and she gets the help with little or no cost
to herself.
Invite them for coffee, her treat, and provide an ear. Sometimes emotional support can be extremely helpful.
Invite a particular family for dinner that way
you could chose a meal you could afford but the mom gets a night out
without having to cook and it would be one less meal to have to worry
about." ~ Dianne
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"You might think this is a silly response;
I know quite a few people who turn down overtime or look at it as a burden or a
disruption in their lives! But these same people are always complaining about
the cost of things or are generally living on credit cards. If there is an opportunity to work I think we should see it as a blessing. If we don't need the extra income maybe this overtime was placed in our paths for us to use to help someone else. I think we should also look on our jobs as part of our stewardship. When I started to look at my job with gratitude to God for the gift He has given me of (first) having the physical ability to get up each day and go to work and (second) the gift of an income to meet my needs as well as help some part of the community, I noticed that some of the problems I was having at work were a little less of a problem! When they cut my overtime, I still ask my boss if I can work those hours as compensatory time (1 hour for 1 hour). This gives me time off and I usually spend it volunteering at an animal shelter. I get much more out of this then the shelter does!" ~ Linda | |
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"Coupons
can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you use them.
I use an
excel spreadsheet to keep track of all the coupons and in-store savings from
the grocery and other places we use coupons for the entire year and have
consistently saved between $2,000-3,000 for the last 4 years.
I only clip
coupons for the items I already buy or really want to try. I also
sometimes clip coupons for things that we only buy when they are below a
certain price.
Buying the
brand name just because you have a coupon still may cost more even if the
store is doing triple coupons.
My family
uses different products than other relatives and such so when I am clipping
the Sunday coupons and see one I know we need more of I call my sisters and
mother-in-law and ask them to clip it for me too.
I clip
extra coupons for things I know my mother-in-law, sister-in-law or
sisters will use. For example, I clip all baby coupons and give to my
younger sister who has an infant, any she can't use she passes onto her new
moms group through her church. My sister-in-law is a vegan so she likes
coupons for soy burgers and such, as well as Duraflame logs to burn in her
fireplace. Mu mother-in-law buys different brand of cat food, uses EB
eggs, and her husband wears Depends, so I save those coupons for her.
I
have also made arrangements in the past to save the coupon sections after I
have clipped what I want and pass them along to a niece or neighbor as they
may find many still in them that they will use.
When the
grocery ads come and there are some unbelievable sales on items (loss leaders)
I sometimes get the limited number of those items and then donate them to the
food pantry or a particular family I know of in need.
I
personally go to Aldi's once a week for things like milk, produce, cereal,
chips, eggs, etc. These items are way cheaper than our local grocery
store charges for them. I also have been trying new products from Aldi
to see if we like them as well or better than the name brand items we usually
buy. I find many of their branded items taste even better than the name
brands do.
I
have a rule about many products, where I won't pay more than a certain price
for something. For example, I usually buy 4 basic types of meats:
boneless skinless chicken breasts, beef round steak, boneless pork loin and
ground beef. My rule is I won't pay more than $2/lb. for any of these,
so I must catch them on sale and then stock up. I
can make most every meal from one of these 4 meats and having 3-5 meals worth
of each in the freezer gives me a lot of variety to plan my menus with.
I buy my
breads, donuts and that sort of thing from either the Wonder/Hostess outlet or
the Entenmann's outlets here in town. I could never afford to buy these
items at the grocery, even with a coupon!
When you
combine all of these ideas, your grocery costs WILL be lower. If your
store is running triple coupons, and you have a coupon for an item that is
also on sale you may virtually get the item for pennies.
Plan menus,
plan to use up what is already on hand, and stock up when things you know you
will use are on sale for a good price.
Shop for 1,
2 or 4 weeks at a time. The fewer trips to the grocery the fewer chances
you will buy impulse items and junk food.
Cook as
much as possible from scratch as this is so much cheaper and healthier than
buying convenience foods that are loaded with preservatives.
Don't be
afraid to offer gently used items or your services to these families in need.
My sisters love to have me come over and just help them stay focused and get
some serious house cleaning and decluttering and organizing done. I am
good at helping others deal with their messes and guide them in the process of
dealing with the problem, but need this same sort of help in my own home as
sometimes I lack motivation and focus myself.
Check out www.freecycle.org
and sign up for a group in your area. This is a great way to get rid of
surplus from your own home or pick up items others are getting rid of that you
may need.
By
saving as much as possible on running your own home, there will be more
available to help others in need." ~ Karen
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"Financial help is great if you have the
means to offer it, but many single moms value other means of support as much.
Poverty is tough, but not getting a break is probably even more of a grind. Why
not invite her and the children over for a Friday night dinner, and then keep
the kids overnight so she has time to herself --to catch up with a friend, take
a bath, give herself a pedicure, and get a full night of sleep. The time over
dinner will help the kids be comfortable at your place, and it will be a meal
she doesn't have to purchase or prepare. The kids will probably enjoy the
'slumber party.' Or take the kids home after church twice a month so she can
catch a nap or read a book and prepare lunches and dinners for the week Or, if
you have room in your vehicle, take the whole family or just the kids to a
conservation area for a hike, or to a free community event. Offer to do her
mending or ironing, or bring a big pan of soup. Arrange for your husband to
babysit while you join her for a walk or a ladies' craft evening. Or one of you
take the kids out to a park while the other helps with the chores men have
traditionally done and she may be less skilled at. Even just doing stuff
together -- housework and chores, often feels supportive. Do you have children's
clothes (or women's for the mom or adult for the teens) or household or
recreational items (bikes or baseball gloves?) you don't need any more? Ask if
she would appreciate them. Or organize a clothes swap at church --everyone
brings useable stuff their kids have outgrown, and take stuff they need now or
in the near future. And pray. Ask her what her prayer needs are. Knowing someone cares and wants to build a relationship with you makes it so much easier to go on. Use the gifts you are given. Money certainly isn't the most important!" ~ Lisa | |
| "I'm a single mom, too. I used to benefit from coupons but had to quit taking the newspaper to save money. The newspaper was where I found most of my coupons. Why not cut out the coupons and give them to the single mom? She'll benefit from your gift without your even having to spend anything!" ~ Leslie in Mobile | |
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"I have not used this site yet, but I have
heard of people who use this site to help the needy. I first ready about
it on the Clark Howard website (www.clarkhoward.com)."
~ Traci http://cutouthunger.com/ The Cut Out Hunger program was started after Stephanie Nelson (the Coupon Mom) visited her local food pantry and discovered that the pantry shelves were empty and the waiting room was full. To help fill their shelves, she began teaching a few friends how to buy food with coupons for that charity in October 2000. Today, thousands of shoppers are "cutting out hunger" across the country while saving money on their own groceries, too. We encourage people to find their local food pantry, visit it to learn more about the specific needs in your community, and get involved as a regular food donor and/or volunteer. | |
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"Consider hosting a Mom's Day/Night Out
and providing childcare for a few hours. This won't cost you any money,
and trust me, it means the world to a single parent to have time to
themselves!" ~ Danielle
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| "It is admirable to want to help single-moms (or dads). Most moms in that situation are harried, so time would be the best gift. Offer to keep the children sometimes, or volunteer to take them to the pool, free recreation activities in your county, doctor's visits, or even to school functions they can't attend. You could be a surrogate aunt or uncle. The coupon idea is great. Just clip them and put them in an envelope for the mom to peruse at her convenience. Find out some staples that help her (like soup or macaroni and cheese) and send them for her to use when she is too tired or broke to fix a meal." ~ Pam | |
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"I LOVE to shop with coupons. I save
about $300 a month using them. Our local market has "double coupons"
up to 99 cents. The Sunday paper coupons will usually coincide with the
upcoming weeks grocery sales so if you have the sale flyer, you can use that
as your guide so save big money. I was a single mom at one point and the
things that I liked for my daughter were those fruit gummies, special cereal,
drink boxes, string cheese, yogurt, tomato soup. You can get all these treats
from using coupons. The mom might enjoy some special things also like liquid
soap, nice smelling shampoo...... And family things like toilet paper, paper
towels, napkins might be appreciated. You could make a list and have
your church members pick a few items to purchase." ~ Whitney
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"I don't know that it would be more
effective than saving money by couponing, but being friends with the moms and
occasionally taking their kids for an afternoon treat so mom can have some
time to herself is a big help. It doesn't have to be a big deal -- going to
the local park or playground, maybe an ice cream cone or street fair, special
programs at the library are usually free. Sometimes I come upon 'found' money
-- a loyalty coupon for $ off at a particular grocer or rebates for using a
credit card, and I pass those along to others. Being a friend and being
available and a friendly (confidential) listening ear is a wonderful gift!"
~ Kathi
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"Our MOPS group started a 'coupon
swap' (any group can do this). We cut ALL the coupons from the Sunday paper.
We keep the ones we know we will use and put the rest in a Ziploc bag with a
blank index card in it. When we get together, we go thru the 'coupon
box' and each bag. We pull out the coupons we want and leave the rest
and then write our names on the index card. This way, we know what bags
we have looked through. Also, going through the store ads and comparing
them to the coupons you have will help. Pay close attention to the stores that
double coupons! I can sometimes get some items for next to nothing. This
helps with the grocery bill plus, if you buy extra, give them to the people
you are trying to help.
The best resource I have found is the book Shop, Save, and Share by Ellie Kay. Most of these ideas are hers." ~ Jill | |
| "I applaud Angel and her husband. My sister is a single mom who struggles, too. Especially when there are young ones around, it might be just as valuable to offer to watch her kids for just a few hours, if you have the time and energy. Time is such a rare commodity for single moms of young ones. If you are physically and emotionally able to do so, it wouldn't have to cost you much of out pocket. Bless you. Another idea might be to make a dish to take over to them and maybe one for her freezer. It would save her not only time AND money as well. As for the coupons, it can really help lower expenses - hers and yours." ~ Michael | |
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"What a wonderful goal! I don't do
much couponing myself but several other ideas came to mind for helping single
moms short on sleep and funds that would require little cash outlay on your
part. You could offer free babysitting if it suits your family, even one
day a week would be appreciated. While my husband was in graduate school,
a friend did this for me and the savings of a bit more than $70 a month helped
tremendously. You can also either invite the family over for a meal or take in a
meal occasionally, either hot and ready to eat or frozen for later. The meal
need not be fancy though it would probably be fun to treat them to something a
tinsy bit on the extravagant side. Any mom working 8am to midnight will be
grateful not only for the cash savings this represents to her budget but
even more so for the time and energy savings! You could take this up a
step and have your women's group organize meals for the freezer for a week. What
a blessing it would be to have reserve meals on hand.
Another idea is to be aware of her children's clothing sizes and help watch out for quality hand me downs or yard sale finds. This can extend to other needs as well. Again, while my husband was in grad school some very kind people anonymously helped us with school supplies for our children. They must have gotten the school supply list from the school, purchased each item and a back pack for each of our children and left it on our porch one night. A co-worker cleaned out their garage and gave us an almost brand new bike for our son. Another family once loaned us a car when mine died. How they knew we needed it, I will never know as they called with the offer the very day it happened! We drove that car for months before we were able to replace mine. This brings to mind another way to help; can your husband do routine maintenance on her vehicle? Could you help with yard work? The absolute most important thing is to pray for specific ways to serve these specific families and many more ideas and opportunities will present themselves. The financial assistance we received while struggling was wonderful but the love and support we felt as we time and time again saw our prayers answered, in some cases almost immediately, was far more important." ~ Susan | |
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"I do the exact thing Angel is wanting to
do -- except I don't have specific recipients in mind, rather my local homeless
shelter/food bank. A local grocery store frequently has 'buy one get one free' offers. ESPECIALLY if I also have a coupon for the item, I make the purchase and put the free item in a box in my garage, which gets dropped off at the shelter when full (about once a month). Sometimes a local store will offer triple coupons. I recently was able to pick up 3 cans of Apaghetti-o's for .02 each -- they went in the box in the garage. If I see spectacular bargains on items on a clearance rack or at a yard sale, I will pick them up and stash them in the box. Angel has a slight advantage in knowing something about the recipients -- ages of children, etc. That will help her when it comes to choosing items. Angel might also consider offering to babysit herself, or organizing a group of friends to offer a babysitting session at a local church, YMCA, etc to give these women some free time. I would also encourage her to shop the back-to-school sales in late summer and pick up the loss leaders, like notebook paper for .29, to pass along to those families with school-age kids." ~ Becki in Indiana | |
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Editor's Note: Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. | |
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