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Talk It Out:
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"When
I was a child, my parents
wanted to reward us for
doing well in school, but
didn't want to just give us
money outright. The
system they instituted was
that each grade was worth a
certain amount. We
would add it up and then we
could use that amount on a
date with our Dad. This was
a great way to reward us
because not only did we get
to pick something special to
do, we also go one-on-one
time with Dad. When you have
4 children growing up in one
house, that is something
that does not happen very
often!" ~ Robyn
"We
don't give an allowance for
regular chores, but do
occasionally offer jobs to
allow them to earn extra
money. I have recently
implemented a sticker-reward
system for noticeable
improvement in areas that
they are struggling in. The
stickers can be traded in at
every 10th one or they can
be saved for something
larger. The more they save,
the bigger the item they can
trade them in for. Ten
stickers earns something
like an ice cream cone
(about $1 each child), 40
stickers earns a new
Nintendo DS game for them to
share, etc. We don't do
money for grades, but we
homeschool and sometimes
I'll give a sticker for
completing a particularly
dry workbook." ~
Melissa in MD "We have given allowances to our children from a very young age – starting at age 4. They are now 18 and 16. Their allowances are viewed as shared rewards from our income for being a part of the family and for doing their own job. Their 'job' is to be good students and to be an active member of the family. That means that they make the best effort they can and strive for excellence in their schoolwork and contribute to the family. We have never rewarded monetarily for good grades – we celebrate with pride and often go and get ice cream! When they were younger we often heard from them that their friends got money for A’s – not ice cream! We always explained them that the A received was their reward for their hard work and that as they got older they would be rewarded in life for their good grades with knowledge, honors and perhaps scholarships. Even at a very young age we explained to them that their good grades belonged to their effort and while we were proud, the grades were never to be 'for' us. In middle school they began to laugh about going to get ice cream for their all A report cards but they really seemed to understand and to take pride in their effort. I’m sure they would have loved to get money for the A’s but we always talked about our family philosophy on this so there was no other expectation. Our children share in the responsibility of being a part of our family and are expected to contribute to the running of the household. They have different chores each week and are expected to contribute as they are asked. While their allowance is not tied to specific chores, they are expected to participate in maintaining the house. We tell them when they resist, 'You are a part of this family and you are expected to help maintain the house and yard.' As teenagers we have certainly gone thru the complaining about what they asked to do but, that just makes the job take longer! As they have become older teenagers they have learned to participate fully and then they can have their own time. There have been very few times through the years that we have withheld the allowance but, there have been a few. These have occurred during rebellious weeks, which, seems to be a part of growing up. During those weeks we have told them that if they choose to NOT share in the responsibility and blessing of having a home and having 'stuff' that needs to be taken care of, then they cannot share in the rewards. It only took a few missed allowances for them to reconsider their choice!" ~ Donna
"I
agree there is no real difference
in the matters. Also, how
many of us would get up and go to
work for only the good
feeling and reward of a job well
done? I'm certainly not belittling
or disregarding the importance of
doing a good job and working hard,
but a child's 'job' is school, so
why not reward good grades
financially or in some other
tangible way? ~ Jen
"Our children (ages
4 and 6) are expected to do their chores not
because they get an allowance but because they need to
contribute as a family. It is our goal to teach our
children to take care of themselves and their household
before they leave home someday. They also receive
an allowance and get an annual increase every year at
their birthday. This happens to coincide with another
chore to add to their list of this to do. They are
taught to manage their money by putting some of
their allowance into a Freedom Piggybank, into a Long
Term Savings Piggybank and into their charity bear. They
also must put some into their wallet where they decide
what they can spend their money on. We do have one
limitation of not spending money on candy.
There is no cause and
effect relationship with allowance and chores. However,
if chores are not getting done, I'll warn them that the
chore will be done but with a price tag. For
example, if our 4 year old does not feed the dog, I'll
give him a 5 minute warning and if it is not done, I'll
deduct 50 cents from his $4.00 allowance. I usually
don't have to do this." ~ Christine
"I took the
Financial Peace course by Christian financial
counselor Dave Ramsey. He said in a perfect
world, giving kids money as an allowance would be
okay. But until we live in that perfect world,
he does not give his kids an allowance. He has his
kids on commission. They perform an assigned task (a
chore, getting good grades, etc.), they are paid a
commission accordingly. Why? It teaches them a life
lesson. If you arbitrarily give them money simply
because it is Friday, such as an allowance, they do
not appreciate the money as being earned. They view
the parent as an ATM machine.
The life lesson is
that you will be expected to work (as an adult), to
perform certain duties in life and be rewarded (paid)
accordingly. So a kid might receive $5 for every A, $3
for every B and $1 for every C. Sure, they
should want to get the best grades they can whether
they get money or not. But by rewarding the child,
they can see and experience a direct correlation
between working harder (getting a higher grade) and
earning more.
The same with chores around the house. While every kid should help out as part of the family unit, by giving them a financial incentive, it further reinforces that work brings reward (money). Do not miss this opportunity for a life lesson. Maybe they take out the trash every week and get paid $2. But one week the garbage is strewn all over the driveway by a dog digging in the trash. If the child takes the initiate and picks up the strewn trash without being asked, that shows maturity and initiative. That should be rewarded. So, never give an allowance, but put the kids on commission. They produce (get good grades or do the chores), they earn." ~ Grant "We do give our girls an allowance but we don't specifically tie it to chores. What we say is, we're a family. Families help each other as much as they can, and families share what they have. So the kids have specific tasks they are in charge of, and they are also expected to pitch in when they are needed for other things. They get an allowance every week because they are part of the family and so share in some of the family's resources. Out of that money they have to pay if they do fun things with friends or want to occasionally buy candy or something for themselves. The girls are 11 and 8 and have learned to keep a small amount saved by so that if a friend calls to ask them to a movie or the pool or something, they have enough to go. If they don't have enough, I don't give them the money. They are expected to handle their own short-term savings for this kind of thing. (Out of their allowance they also have to put a set amount aside for long-term savings and for the church basket.) I've found that this
kind of set-up works better for us than paying ten cents
for this or 25 cents for that, etc. When it's set up
like that, then the kids think they can decide whether
to help or not depending on whether they need money or
not." ~ Catherine from Minnesota "When a child gets an allowance for picking up their room and keeping it tidy, is that a paying job? If they do the dishes and sweep the floor, should they be paid for that? If they go to school and study hard and get the best marks for their efforts, how much is that worth? It all breaks down to: what am I worth if I prove myself? Why can't we just be proud of each other. When they are on their own, how much do they get when they keep their room tidy, clean the bathroom, vacuum and do the dishes? How much is that worth? When they go to work and they do the best they can, do they get more money every time for their efforts? But I bet when you give them that extra hug and a big pat on the back saying you are so proud of them, they will remember that. They may even do the same for their friends and co-workers to show that affection is worth more than money because isn't that what you have taught them? If they see a job that needs to be done, they do it just because it needed to be done. It is not always up to one person to do all the jobs in the household; it is up to the family to do what needs to be done so that the household stays a home that everyone can share and enjoy." ~ Margot "Giving an
allowance for chores should give them a work ethic,
something that will serve them well as they grow. Giving
money for good grades can be a touchy situation. As an
only child, it probably helped me, but with my children,
it was a bad situation, as one had problems in school,
and though they were both very intelligent, they had
different learning skills, and grades should NOT
have been a determining factor. I corrected this, but it
should never have started, as it was unfair to them
both. I hope this will help someone." ~
Karen, Montana "We
do not pay for grades or give allowances. Our children
have chores and are expected to get good grades. Their
jobs as children are to do their chores, keep their
rooms and body clean and make good grades. In return
they live room and board free with all their needs
met. They also get extras as seen fit and parents buy
gifts for their friends for birthday parties and
Christmas. We have four children and none of
them have complained about this method. Now this school year we have made an exception on the grade issue. It seems our children for 3 grading periods have managed to bring home all As and one B. In attempting to bribe them to bringing up that one grade I have offered to pay $50 for a report card of all As. We have had 6 grading periods so far and we are still always lacking by one grade. Luckily for me because I will be broke if they all hit it as once." ~ Theresa "This issue of
allowances and rewards is a tough one. My husband
and I had many lengthy discussions before we came to an
agreement. The kids are expected to help around
the house for free because they are members or the
family, just like Mom and Dad. We give the kids an
allowance however we reserve the right to direct
spending and discontinue it if attitudes and
responsibilities are neglected. The kids are expected to
tithe a portion each week. If they are spending unwisely
we will require them to save for a given period of time.
We regard their allowance as an opportunity to learn
Biblical principles of wise money management under our
direction. "My
husband and I initially struggled with the question
of whether or not to give out allowance and money
for good grades. We came to the conclusion that our
daughters needed to learn how to save and spend
money wisely. Since they’re too young to get a
'real' job, they get paid for some of their chores
(others are just expected). We only pay them for a
job well done. If they have to redo a job, they
don’t get paid for it. They also get paid a small
amount for grades: A=$5, B=$3 and nothing for
anything less than that. Their allowance is based on
Dave Ramsey’s system of 10% goes to savings, 10%
goes to others (church, missions, or birthday
presents) and the rest can be put aside to save or
spend. We rarely buy our children anything other
than clothes, food, a couple birthday presents and
Christmas gifts (minimal) so if they want a special
toy, etc., they have to save for it with their own
money. We implemented this system about five years
ago and feel it’s working well for our
family." ~ Kim IA
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