...of Good Family Relationships

CTC Readers' Poll:
Scaling Back Christmas 

 In the December 1, 2005 issue of the newsletter, we asked this question:

If you needed to scale back your family’s Christmas gift giving, how would you handle it so that your children would not be too upset by the change?

Responses:

"We have a large family with ten children. We feel that it is important that we show our children how to give good gifts and to bless those we love. We allow our children to choose a name from a hat to buy a gift for each other. We set a 10-20 dollar limit, hoping to find nicer things at sale prices. I hope to continue this practice with their future spouses. This way each sibling and each sibling's spouse will get one nice gift. Of course we'll have to adjust the amount for inflation or perhaps they'll want to spend more when they are grown. For our children we give one educational or spiritual, one fun, and one clothing gift. They make a small list of things they would like and then we choose from the list. We find that few gifts give a much greater appreciation. What we don't give in gifts we make up in fun things to do. We have a tree trimming party with eggnog. We traditionally eat a restaurant meal on Christmas Eve--early of course because it less expensive. We might enjoy a family movie the day after Christmas. Going to parties and church events make for an exciting season!  I am also having my children work on different projects to give as gifts to relatives. Grandmothers and grandfathers love things handmade or photo journals and things like that from their grandchildren. Our homeschooling support group is having a Christmas party for the kids and instead of a grab bag, we'll be bringing food pantry items to donate." ~ Wendy 

 
"I'm not sure how to scale back once you have already set those expectations for your kids. My best advice is to not set up those expectations in the first place. Before our boys were born, we decided to get them 3 presents every year (I got this idea off of the Internet). We get them one clothing item, one toy, and a food item. They are only 2, but I think it will be great that they know what to expect at Christmas. Three gifts can also be biblical in the fact that Jesus got 3 gifts his first Christmas. That's not the reason we chose to do this, but I like it. The boys get plenty of gifts from other relatives, although I wish everyone would scale back." ~Lura


"In our family, we have instituted two policies.
1.  Only young children receive gifts from adults.
2.  No adults receive gifts. Instead, we make a donation to charity, with a limit of $10 per donated for each person NOT receiving a present. For example, instead of spending large amounts of money, we will donate $20 ($10 per in-law) to charity." ~ Suzanne


"My husband and I decided when our first child was an infant that what was in his stocking was from Santa - and whatever was under the tree was from us or whoever else bought it. Santa gets the kids stickers and fun toothpaste, stuff that Mom would 'never' buy. Mom and Dad get the kids 'Flag Money,' which is their way of saying 'Savings Bonds.' We put the Savings Bond in the bank and they get the gift certificate. $25 can get a $50 bond so the kids think they are RICH!  They also get several toys they want. I watch for sales to keep the costs down.  Between the gifts they receive from us, grandparents and their favorite 'Auntie,' they have more than enough!
 
Also we focus on the REASON we celebrate Christmas - Jesus' birthday - not for 'I want.'  Last year, the kids got out their party hats, we had birthday cake and sang, 'Happy Birthday!'  I think they had more fun with the party we had -- spending the time with them, having them help with the cake and decorations -- than if we gave them a pile of gifts!  My daughter (7) still talks about it and we are planning another party this year!" ~ Karen

 
"I love going to the variety of local thrift stores in my area for presents. So often you'll find things brand new with tags still on them for 10% the cost in the store. They always have lots of games, toys, great books, frames, baskets for themed gifts, etc. Goodwill gets all of Target's new items.  Look for a nice store in a good neighborhood and you wouldn't believe what people get rid of!  (When I wonder on this, my husband always says, 'Well, if someone didn't buy it new, you wouldn't get it used!'  :)   Also, children under 7 don't seem to care if there are not tags on items or not. For example, I picked up 2 large bags of Barbie clothes for my 4-year-old daughter last year for $1.40 each -- she loved it and wouldn't have cared otherwise if things were new or not! Thrift stores are also great places to find things to re-purpose and gift, like wooden things to repaint, or nice wool sweaters to unweave and then weave into something else!  The thrill of the hunt and the open creativity of possibilities makes it a doubly fun trip! And cost saving and recycling too! YAY! Merry Christmas all, especially those children!" ~ Danielle from Roseville, MN


"There are activities that my family does every year regardless of what our income may be then. Our children are now teenagers and still ask for these things every year. The first weekend of December we make a list of things we want to do throughout the month and fill in the calendar, beginning with the town's treelighting and parade. Then we include activities like the annual buying of a large dollar coloring book for them to color, reading a red velvet book with several Christmas stories in it annually, driving to enjoy the lights around town in pajamas with hot cocoa, having an open house, afternoon cookie-making teas with friends, volunteering for Operation Shoebox, and making cards to hand out to store clerks in the mall on the day we ring the Salvation Army bell for the kettle drive. If it is a financially-trying time, we take their presents and disperse them throughout the day, hiding a couple for them to find, filling the morning with other activities like a morning snowball fight, dessert for breakfast, etc. You could add reading a story, a movie when things calm down, special pampering like a braiding with pretty ribbons or cologne for the boys, phone calls to relatives or friends of good wishes, sledding, board games, when opening a present they must play charades to have others guess what it is (of course you would have to take turns and thus lengthening the time)." ~ Tina


"I read this idea several places:  Each child receives only 3 gifts each, just like Jesus. This is actually more challenging for me (our children are toddlers) because I have to narrow down all the great toys out there to only 3 each!" ~ Jan

"We are taking a trip for the week after Christmas so I have told the kids that they are only getting three presents for Christmas just like Jesus. I have gotten no arguments. The gifts will also be something that will keep them occupied on our trip." ~ Marie



"I would follow the the three gift concept ....Jesus received three nice gifts so everyone in the family would receive only three gifts. The children could pool their money to buy a parent one gift and the other two gifts would come from the spouse.  I would naturally continue the tradition of the stockings.  I would stuff them with small gifts and/or candy treats.  My children would most likely receive gifts from extended family or friends.  I think this idea is a wonderful way to teach the Christmas story, save money and offset the commercial frenzy surrounding this holiday!" ~ Janice

"I’d start by sitting down and discussing it with my kids. They’re old enough now (teens) to understand these kinds of things. Then I’d try to make sure each child got at least one item that was something they really wanted. And I’d ask the kids to help with possibly baking goodies to give to others and/or making some items to give as gifts or in making up service coupons' to give to each other. The kids take turns doing dishes, so they could get several coupons good for one night off. That kind of thing.  They’d enjoy being able to use those through the year. " ~ Nan

Editor's Note: Thanks to all these readers who took time to write!

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