...of Nurturing Growth and Development

CTC Readers' Poll:
Dealing with Picky Eaters 

 In the February 15, 2008 issue of the newsletter, Counting the Cost editor 
Nancy Twigg asked readers this question:

"What strategies have you used in getting your kids to eat foods that are good for them? What has worked well in your family?"

Responses:

"I learned early on that my two boys were picky eaters.  It has to do more with texture than the item they are actually eating. Their gag reflex is very active. After having them almost throw up at the table while trying to swallow a green bean, I gave up.  That's too much for my weak stomach, too! They take a multi-vitamin each morning and I try to make sure they are eating other healthy choices.  We drink the V-8 fruit drinks, yogurt smoothies, and unsweetened cranberry juice.  My five year old won't eat a green bean but loves dried apricots!  Go figure!  Moms have to remember to look at the entire choice of foods and not stress over each and every meal.  One day in the future I know that I won't have to have chicken nuggets at every meal!" ~ Cassie
 
"One of my children eats small amounts in general. I have found it helpful to tell him how many bites to take before he's done (a specific number.) I have become pretty good at figuring out how many will finish - or about finish - his plate. He does better when he knows there's an 'end' to the job (chore?) of eating and so finishes and then receives his dessert if we have any. (Dessert in our house can be anything from a piece of fruit with yogurt to three M&M's, but it's something they look forward to.)" ~ Melissa in MD


"All of my children have been picky at one time or another. When they have a case of 'I'm not eating that,' I always say fine. Then their other choice is given. The kids (all five) know that the only substitution choice they can have is peanut butter and jelly. NO EXCEPTIONS! EVER! If they have a friend over the same is true for them as well. This rule has worked so well that when my mother -in-law declined the entree at dinner one evening, my 11-year-old told her where the PB&J was located. She ate peanut butter for dinner. None of the kids has ever gone hungry and they are all good eaters who rarely have a picky day." ~ Linda B.

"Like every toddler, my 2 year old is very suspicious of new things that we want him to eat. I like to play it off like it's no big deal, never saying 'You have to eat this,' and always eat some of the food myself and talk about how delicious it is. Probably the best story though is about his reluctance to try broccoli. At the store one day, I was buying broccoli and decided to get him involved in the process. I said, 'We need broccoli… Can you help me find it?' We found it, I gave it to him, and had him chuck it into the cart. Then at home I let him help me prepare it. I cut it up, and he threw the pieces into the pot. The whole time, I talked about how great and delicious broccoli was. For the first time ever he ate broccoli, right there as we were preparing it! I didn't make a big deal about it, and tried to avert my eyes so he wouldn't see my glee. He's LOVED it ever since, and will now eat a whole bowl of steamed and salted broccoli with dinner!" ~ Laura


"I hear people saying that they have so much trouble getting their kids to eat.  When did it start?  As far as I can remember, my kids always loved to eat.  Giving them a food group and then trying another food group is how I started.  As they got older, we all ate the same meals at each meal.  When someone expressed that he really didn't like a certain food, then we all had that food and he had a serving of something else that was simple but nutritious.  I don't like porridge.  But it is a good food group and keeps the bellies full and happy.  So, I made porridge and the kids never knew I didn't like it.  They loved it because I would give them choices to go with it to make it yummy.  So having picky eaters is an adult thing and the children learned it from them to be that way.  My kids are grown now and they like to experiment with different foods. They cook for themselves and their friends.  Children need to learn balance in their life and food is a major player in keeping yourself healthy and balanced." ~ Margot


 
"I myself was the most picky little eater ever, so I know something about picky kids.  When my own children 'tried' to be picky, I wouldn't cater to them, or make them sit there. It was very simple. We gave them the choice to eat and be happy to have it, or go to bed with nothing.  nvariably they chose to eat, and amazing what they actually ended up liking. Now my kids love the weirdest foods and are willing to try it all. Each of them only chose to go hungry once." ~ SC

"We've found that for our two girls (now ages 6 and 4) that vegetables were a battle in the early years.  We taught them to eat the vegetables first, then move onto the other parts of their meal.  The veggies go down much easier in the beginning when they are hungry and looking forward to the main course.  When we serve a main course they don't like, they must eat it the first time around, then when it is leftover night, we let them choose from among the leftovers.  Even when choosing between 2 or 3 meals that might not be all-time favorites, the meal goes much easier because they had a choice in the matter.  These are just some things that have helped us. ~ Jen


 
"The rule at our house is that the kids have to eat as many bites of each food as years they are old.  My four year old has to eat at least 4 green beans, 4 bites of chicken, etc.  When she doesn't eat her bites, she gets no dessert. Sometimes dessert is so tempting, she actually eats. Other times she passes on dessert. It is really their choice because you can't force them to eat -- just try to make it tempting!  I also try to offer at least one food each child will like at meals." ~ Kathy Z

 


 
"Our oldest daughter had cancer when she was 3 and couldn't leave the hospital because she didn't weigh enough.  We finally opted to have an NG tube put in because we hated trying to get her to eat when she had no appetite. This really affected our outlook on food and how we relate to it. If a child is truly hungry, she will eat unless there is something serious going on. After being blessed with five children who would eat anything (I have a photo of Jamie at 2 with a mouthful of raw broccoli), number six turned out to be a very picky eater and more work than the other five put together! We later discovered by deduction that many foods gave him diaper rash and that he was carbohydrate sensitive. He pretty much lived on nuts, raisins and mozzarella cheese when he was little. We chose not to make a big deal about it since it was a healthy meal and helped keep his blood sugar balanced. This improved his whole manner. He is almost 5 now and a lot of fun to be around (People often ask about his nickname, Pickle, and are surprised when we tell them how sour he was as a baby and toddler.). Because of his blood sugar, we make sure that he eats regularly even if it's not what everyone else is eating. We avoid power struggles by thinking ahead. If we are going out to eat I will pack something healthy for him in case he doesn't like what's served. This way he doesn't have a meltdown because of low blood sugar. One night at a fundraising dinner of breaded chicken, salty potatoes, and salad swimming in dressing I was really envious of his fruit and nut platter!  He has a good attitude about food because we don't force him to eat and give him options when possible." ~ Prajna in CA

 



"The rule in our house as our boys were growing up was they had to take some of everything on the table. They could choose to not eat everything on their plate, but if they didn’t, they didn’t get seconds of anything else.  We told them that since there was still food left on their plate, they were obviously not very hungry and they didn’t need any more food. They would clean their plate of even the 'horrible green stuff' so they could have more of the food they liked. We didn’t give them a lot on their plate at once and if there was something we knew they absolutely disliked they were given grace for that item, for instance one son never liked and still does not like tomatoes. They are now almost grown and enjoy eating a wide variety of foods, rarely complaining about what is being served. " ~ Kathie 

 
"This one worked for our family, but I won't guarantee it for anyone else. You need to know that I was in a really bad mood that day. One of my children made rude comments and noises about some food item on his plate. Without much of a thought, I picked up the serving spoon and plopped another big spoon of the offending item on his plate. I told him since he had been rude, he could simply have a larger serving. He responded with a gagging noise. I plopped another spoon of the food on his plate and told him that since he had made more rude noises, he could have another serving. He looked at me (I guess he thought I had lost my mind at that point) and quietly began eating his food. Several days later he said something about a yucky food. I asked him if he wanted a bigger serving. He quickly replied, 'NO!' and started eating. I never again had to repeat that question." ~ Anonymous


"My oldest, just turned 8, is pickier than her sister, who is 6 1/2. We just give them a little bit of each food. then if they like it, they can have more. we do not believe in making kids clean their plates, or the 'there are kids starving in some far-off place' lectures. we want our kids to listen to their bodies and stop eating when they are satisfied.
 
Here is a funny story. One time I gave fresh spinach salad to my husband and myself. When our oldest daughter saw that she didn't have any on her plate, she wanted what we had. She waited until she thought we weren't looking and ate some of his fresh spinach salad. They both love fresh salads now.
 
Another trick is to look at what they eat overall, not just in one meal. Overall, my kids eat a well-balanced diet, although at a particular meal they might not have all the food groups.
 
Another thing is to make dinner pleasant. We eat together, no TV on. We ask each other conversation starters, talk about our day, tell jokes, etc.  At lunch time, I read to them from a book while they are eating. (I eat faster than they do.)" ~ Diana

"At our house we have the policy that what I make for dinner is the only food served at dinner. For everything that is served, everyone must take at least one 'polite bite.' We explain that this is so we can all try new (or not so new) things and learn to do it with courtesy. We also tell our children, 'You never know when your tastes are going to change.' Once firsts helpings are gone, the child is welcome, but not required, to eat seconds of anything. When my kids were younger, I always had bread and milk on the table and served a variety of foods over the week so I knew my children would not starve or be malnourished. (Be aware, that if you offer not-so-healthy choices at other times of the day, they may fill up on these and not be hungry enough to brave seconds of that new food.) My children are now between nine and fourteen and we still follow this same procedure, though in a much more casual way. We indeed have seen their tastes change and broaden and we don't need to rely on the bread and milk so much to round out the meals!" ~ Danielle



"We have a 'one bite' rule. Every new food or even unpopular old foods must be tried. This even applies to new dishes in restaurants. We now have a 7-year-old who ate bruschetta and broccoli at 2 and will eat frog legs and sushi at the Chinese Buffet!
" ~ Donna



"We use several strategies: We stopped asking our daughter what she wanted to eat for meals (why did I ever do that?), and if she does not finish her plate, we wrap it for later. We require her to eat a bite of some food that she does not like or is unfamiliar with at almost every meal. The rod may be used here. I try to build on the things my daughter likes (from ketchup on chicken nuggets to chicken with tomato sauce and tomato soup. I also try to limit sweets for the whole family! I wish I had tackled this issue sooner, but we are making progress now." ~ Ellen

"My six year old daughter loves her carbs, just like her mom. If we are having any kind of potato, rice, stuffing or bread with dinner she will go right for that item and then she usually doesn't have enough room left for her meat and vegetables. We finally had to start a new rule that the meat and vegetables (or at least a big portion of them) had to be eaten first and the carbs can be eaten after. We never force her to clean her plate but the meat and veggies come first." ~ Kristie



"I have four grown sons. When they were young my husband and I came up with a technique that worked quite well for us. Each of us had only one food item that they didn't have to eat. I have always detested peas and my husband squash. My twins had corn-not-on-the-cob, and cooked spinach. My middle son had green beans, and my youngest had chili beans. Those were the only food items that I didn't make them eat. Everything else they had to eat. This technique took all the moaning and groaning away. Plus, it made for an easier time in planning the weekly menu." ~ Laura

"We treat our vegetables with respect in cooking them so that they retain flavor and texture. We make our kids eat a little bit of everything, if not, they don't get seconds on foods they like better. After three times they manage most everything. They also help me in the kitchen or garden by being 'tasters.' These things have gotten them to enjoy almost everything. The few things they flat out don't like (mushrooms) they plow through, taking the favorites with the not so favorites as part of life." ~ Anonymous


"When (and if) dinner was going to be late, I would serve new foods/veggies. Only on rare occasions was I asked, 'what's this?'  'It is your veggies,' I'd say, 'Justeat it,' and they did. Starving children will eat just about anything." ~ Gale

"Our kids don't eat eggs or any protein in the morning. I have budding vegetarians who are now grossed out by the thought of eggs or meat. Instead I offered to make sure they had hot oatmeal ready to go for them in the morning and they can add any fruit they want.  I do the work. I sneak in protein powder. I don't tell them. It has gotten to be a deliberate part of their morning, I know the years are going fast. And they get some proteins to help the neurons fire better. They eat the oatmeal. That oatmeal is almost patriotic." ~ Becky


"My daughter is almost two years old.  She is beginning to leave foods on her plate she does not like. So I have started allowing her to watch a video while I prepare her meal and then stop it in the middle for her to come and eat. If she does not try at least one bite of everything on her plate, she is not allowed to finish watching the video. We do not watch tons of TV/videos at home, so this is a big motivator right now. And some mornings it's nice to clean up breakfast to some nice music instead." ~ Garlande 


Editor's Note: Thanks to all these readers who took time to write!

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