...of Good Relationships

CTC Readers' Poll:
Best Resources for Becoming a Parenting Pro 

 In the September 15, 2007 issue of the newsletter, Counting the Cost editor 
Nancy Twigg asked readers this question:

"What books have made the biggest impact on the way you parent your children? What parenting resources would you must readily recommend to other parents?"

Responses:

"'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen' by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, who are actually sisters, is a marvelous book that I drew from extensively when we were raising our daughter. I was actually exposed to the video series developed from this book through a program I was involved in, and it was absolutely life-changing for me.  It taught me to use praise that really works among other wonderful tools that my now- grown daughter and I talk about fondly from time to time. I have recommended it to so many younger parents." ~ Pam

"'Parenting With Love and Logic' has been the most important child-rearing book in my life. It encourages you to give your children choices in behavior (both of which are acceptable to you) and then to bear the burden of their own bad choices." ~ Katie


"I found a book 'To Train Up A Child' by Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy Ministries to be helpful in raising and training my children. After reading many other Christian authors on child training and feeling more confused than ever, I came across this book and found that the Pearls gave examples of training sessions that were very helpful." ~ Debbie



"With two children ages 2 and 4 1/2, I would say that Last Child in the Woods had a big impact on my family's choice for weekend activities involving nature and our creation of a backyard habitat.  My 4 1/2 year old daughter can identify at least 5 native birds in our area!  Reading Coloring Outside the Lines lead to my husband and I discussing how we feel about education and how we both want to encourage our children to pursue their interests as they grow older.  Please visit my lens (a type of webpage) at  http://www.squidoo.com/pollyklaas/booksforcaringparents  to see more of my list of recommended books that I have read in my journey to be a more interesting and well-rounded parent.   Please visit my lens often as I am always adding more books!" ~ JJ 

 
"I won't consider myself a seasoned parent as my boys are only 4 and 6 but I didn't have to think about this book. It is called 'Kids Are Worth It.'  It was written my Barbara Coloroso. I first saw her speak when I was studying to become a teacher.  I loved her philosophies on relating, raising and teaching children. It was the best book investment I ever made!" ~ Christine


"Actually, I just found this book and am still reading it, but I can tell already it'll be one of the most useful books in raising my oldest son who has Asperger's. It's called 'It's So Much Work to be Your Friend' by Dr. Levine. It basically teaches parents and teachers how to teach social skills to children who obviously need it. I've also followed a lot of advice from 'Dare To Discipline' by Dr. Dobson, especially concerning spanking, etc." ~ Angie

 
"The book that has made the biggest impact on the way I parent my children is 'Parenting with Love and Logic' by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.  I discovered this book only about 4 months ago and wish I had known about it a long time ago. It's a Christian approach to parenting that raises kids to think for themselves, make good choices, and be accountable for their actions. I am a single parent of three kids, ages 16, 13, and 9, and this book has made me excited about being a parent. By the way, the same authors also have books called Parenting with Love and Logic for Teens and Love and Logic for Marriages (too bad I didn't know about that one earlier!).  There are also seminars based on these books." ~ Elise


"The only parenting book I've ever read that was worth reading is 'You're a Better Parent Than You Think!: A Guide to Common-Sense Parenting' by Dr. Ray Guarendi. It is all about no-nonsense parenting, with the parents in charge. What a novel idea! It's also pretty funny. His advice is practical and do-able, but the most important thing he stresses is that parents have to be consistent. Most people try discipline techniques and then give up if they don't work after a few tries. Some kids need repetition dozens or hundreds of times. He also makes a point of saying that we're not going to mess our kids up if we make a mistake occasionally :) By the way, Dr. Ray and his wife have 10 adopted children and they homeschool all of them." ~ Catherine in Minnesota

"The biggest impact on my parenting has been to get counseling and do the personal work to clear away my emotional baggage of growing up as the child of a victim of abuse and learn how I was continuing to perpetuate the dysfunctional behaviors and patterns of my childhood home with my own children. After that, the 'Love and Logic' program has greatly shaped communication within our family and helped my spouse and me to learn to give our children choices that respect their ability to think rather than orders that embitter and anger them and divide our home." ~ Sherrie



"'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' by La Leche League and 'The Family Bed' by Tine Thevenin" ~ LMB

 
"I run parenting programs at my local family resource center and I swear by Barbra Collorosou.  Her books and video have made such an impact on so many families, especially 'Parenting For the Love Of Kids'!" ~ Karen


"The first book I read on parenting back in the 70s was 'Training Up a Child' by Gwendolyn Webb. I read this book every year for 18 years while my children were growing up. I also read all of James Dobson's parenting books. Later I was given a small booklet called 'Under Loving Command' by Pat Fabrizio. Excellent! When my son became a father, he started me reading To Train Up a Child by Micheal and Debi Pearl. They have written several editions of this book and have a monthly newsletter called No Greater Joy available on line at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/.  All of these books are well worth reading if a parent wants to send well-developed, independent adults out into the world." ~ Patti


"'My First Three Hundred Babies'! I'm not even sure of the author's name, but she was a nurse who would go to the homes of new mothers to help them learn to care for their babies. I put my first little baby on a schedule right away. I breastfed her, and she was sleeping all night/8 hours at 4 weeks. With Mommy in charge of what went on and getting lots of sleep, I was ready for baby #2 in no time. I now have six happy, healthy children and I feel I owe a lot to 'My First Three Hundred Babies.'" ~ Esther in Nova Scotia

"The best resource we've found for parenting has been the series of books with the title 'Parenting With Love and Logic' by Jim Faye and Foster Cline. I give it as gifts to all the new parents I know. Our local school system even uses it as a disciplinary tool." ~ Karla



"My favorite book is 'To Train Up a Child' by Michael Pearl. I know he has gotten a lot of criticism because he using corporal punishment and to some it seems that he uses it too much and for everything. I like it because it is a thin book that even the most harried parent can find time to read. It is biblically based and even if you don't use corporal punishment or want to use it in every instanc, the principal itself is what works. Michael truly loves his children (although I think this comes out more in his other works) and if everyone spanked in the manner that Michael lays out then there wouldn't be this controversy over spanking being abuse. One thing about this book is that you have to have disciplined parents to have disciplined children." ~ Kathy, mom to eight

 
"'Front Porch Parenting' by Dr. Mary Manz Simon is an excellent source. Also 'Mother's Almanac'," ~ Linda


"We have three kids, and I love to read. There are several authors that have really helped me so far -- Dobson, Ezzo, Pearl, Welchel, just to name a few. What I have found most helpful in the raising of my kids is to have a mentor. The one piece of advice I give to every new mom I know is to find someone whose kids are turning out the way that they want their own kids to be, and go ask them what they did! There's nothing better than sitting with a cup of tea at my mentor's house and asking specific questions about the issues that have come up in our household. Now, there are a couple of younger moms coming to me for advice, and I find that having them ask me questions spurs me on to stay on top of the basics and not to let things slide. Books are great, but people are better!" ~ Lynnette in NE


"When my children were preschoolers, one big help for me, was attending the local MOPS meeting.  I looked forward to the break and I also enjoyed the special guests (many of which covered topics that would help me immediately).  I also enjoyed the networking I could do with other moms.  It was a terrific help to me." ~ Jo
 

Editor's Note: Thanks to all these readers who took time to write!

 

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