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CTC Readers' Poll:
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"I'm a teacher and of course, I also have to deal with dawdling. It helps a lot that the child can look at the students around him or her and draw some cues from them. Nevertheless, there are always students who just don't want to do the work and are avoiding it. I've found a few tricks helpful. * First of all, I don't start work times in big stretches. At the start of the year (grade 2), I only expect about 10 minutes of seat work and gradually increase the time to half an hour. That way, everyone is successful. Never mind that I want them to stay working for 20 minutes. If at the start of the year I have some that can only make 5 minutes, then that's where I start and then I can compliment them for being able to stay focused for that amount of time. (Always find ways for them to be successful.) By the end of the year, the students beg me to extend e.g. writing time for up to an hour. Generally, work sessions should not last more than half an hour at a time without a break, even for older students. A short break often improves their focus and could be as simple as dancing the hokey pokey or playing a quick moving game. * I set a timer, which limits how long we spend on an activity. Those who are having trouble staying with the task often get up and check how much time is left and that helps them to hang on. Those who don't finish during the time, complete it during our centers (more fun) time. * It's really important to look at when and why this 'dawdling' occurs. Is it avoidance, underlying lack of confidence, fear of failure, inability to do something, etc.? Why is it not a rewarding activity? Do they not get enough praise for every effort? Is it too hard to please you? Or are you too nice and give in by taking the work away? If you even once reward the dawdling by taking away the job, you have rewarded the dawdling and it will continue. So look very carefully at what happens before she starts dawdling, what purpose the dawdling seems to serve and what happens as a result of the dawdling. Often you'll find the real reason for the dawdling and you'll be able to support her in getting past that behavior. Do you need to break down the directions into smaller, simpler parts? A lot of beginning teachers have that trouble. It is really important to give short, simple directions because young children cannot remember as much as we can. * Do you provide a lead-in that makes her interested in getting down to the work? Does she do something that gets her ideas flowing? Studies show that 'walking and talking' about a topic or question really helps students to get ideas going. Talking to someone else and moving are really important for students in order to process information. Do you ask questions that will help them to think more deeply about a question and make personal connections to it? Once a student is excited and thinking about a topic, it's usually very easy to get them going on an assignment. Look for interesting science experiments, math magic tricks, demonstrations, explorations, and thoughtful questions to get them more engaged and excited about the lesson. * The one who has trouble starting sometimes just has that 'blank page syndrome.' Often they have such high expectations of what they want to do that they can't get started at all, or they have such poor images of themselves that they feel defeated before they start. Either way, a little help at the beginning often gets their momentum going. If it's a writing activity, I start them out just writing down every thought they say to me or everything they see happening around them, whether it's about the assignment or not. Just beginning to write down your thoughts helps to start the flow of writing and eventually gets them over the blank page. With informational topics, ask them to just begin writing down everything that they know. Later they can cut apart the sentences, rearrange them and edit them to make a paragraph. With math or other worksheets, perhaps help them to complete the first one or two until they understand, and encourage them with praise for the accomplishment. * Some kids need a little encouragement as they go on. A quick, 'Wow, you're getting there. Great job!' or 'Great work, you're almost done. Keep it up!' will go a long way to recognizing that what seems easy to us is very hard for small kids. * If a student is really having trouble at the start of the activity, particularly writing, I might start them off by scribing (writing down) what they say. * An EXCELLENT strategy that I have seen work EXTREMELY WELL for building focus, calmness and academic skills, is a program called Brain Gym. We do brain breaks regularly throughout the day and often when my students get stuck and cannot start something, they do some brain gym. It's a series of poses that have been shown in PET scans to activate more parts of the brain and get the different parts of the brain to work together better. I have found that it helps incredibly with focus, concentration and ability to handle emotions, as well as reducing reversals quickly and improving work quality. My students love it and my class always looks so much more settled and focused than the other grade two class, and generally they show greater progress than the other class. It's worth finding out more about. (By the way, don't worry that the movements or poses are religious; they're not.) The URLs are www.braingym.com and www.braingym.org. They have great CDs that are like action songs which can help you to teach the movements to your child. I can't recommend it enough." ~ Christa "We have also had a problem with dawdling children, especially in the morning when things really need to get done on time. I didn't like all the nagging last year and the stress to get out the door on time. This year I made a short checklist for each child with exactly what he needs to do and in exactly what order he should do it. For example, it says: Get up by 6.45. They know if they get up before this time, they can play, but if it is already 6.45, they need to keep moving on the list, with Make bed, Get dressed, Eat breakfast, etc . They have become really motivated to finish the list because they know they get play time before having to go out the door for school if they finish all the routine stuff first. Two added benefits--no nagging and reading practice from reading the list every morning!" ~ BethAnne "I just attended a class on working with autistic kids. They discussed this subject -- getting a child to do something they aren't motivated to do. They said to put a task they like more than anything after the task; then they have a little motivation to do." Mary Ann "I say, 'Can you show me how fast you can put your socks on/pick up your toys/climb into your carseat?' (whatever the case may be). They are so excited to show you how big and fast they are that they stop dawdling and actually focus on the task at hand!" ~ Suzie "We had this problem with our then 12 year old son. He would take FOREVER to finish his breakfast, therefore we always got a late start on our homeschool. After talking it over with my husband, we came up with the idea for 'Cowboy Cash.' Our son receives one 'Cowboy Cash'--which is play money with a horse on it that we made up on the computer--for getting to the breakfast table on time. He receives a second 'Cowboy Cash' for being done with breakfast, teeth brushed, and ready to start homeschool at a specified time. One free 'Cowboy Cash' is also given on Mondays, so he automatically has something to start the week with. If he isn't at breakfast on time, or isn't done eating breakfast and ready for school, no 'Cowboy Cash.' The fun part is that "Cowboy Cash" can be cashed in for stuff he likes. Every $1 of Cowboy Cash is worth five minutes of play time on the computer, or five minutes of watching a video. Cowboy cash can also be saved up and cashed in for a special meal, trip to a store (browsing the toys), setting up our puppet theater for a specified time, setting up our Rokenbok toy for a specified time (think toy taking over the whole living room!), etc. Cowboy Cash can also be taken away for any bad attitude during school, or arguing during ANY time of the day. By the way, if you don't HAVE any Cowboy Cash to give Mom or Dad when you have argued with them, you must give them $1.00 of your own REAL money. This system has worked WONDERS. We used it all last school year, and are using it again this year with the addition of giving Cowboy Cash for having a room kept clean all week long. The system is easy to implement, and doesn't involve a lot of extra money out of our budget." ~ Susan M.
"I am a mother of a 1 1/2
year old, but I have detected dawdling in him for a long while.
In my opinion, dawdling is just a form of rebellion against the
parent -- the child choosing to do his own will over the
instruction of the parent. When my son 'dawdles,' there is an
immediate, effective consequence to his actions. Every child is
different as to the consequence - particularly at different
ages. The consequence needs to be something that would cause the
child to choose to obey rather than face the consequence. After
such dawdling occurs, I make it a habit to be consistent in
reinforcing the consequence -- if the child feels he/ she can
get away with it just one time, he/she will continue to dawdle
waiting for that one time you will allow it.
I also practice obedience with
my child making a game out of it. I give him commands and expect
him to do what I ask (his are throw your diaper away, pick up
toys, give this to Daddy, lay down and take a nap, etc... ).
When he obeys the commands, I praise him and give him a sticker
each time. I have even made a chart where he can place his
stickers. I buy the self stick foil stars that are a little over
a dollar for 700 count. This child training is much easier in
the beginning when the child is young.
Some children are also made
to believe that work is not fun. Parents need to make household
chores fun by making a game out of it or something. For
instance, if the child has to take out the trash, tell him if he
takes the trash out properly and returns within 30 seconds, he
will have a small reward. Then time him. If it's going to take
more than 30 seconds, count aloud and then when he gets to the
door say, 'Twenty Nine....... Thirty! You just made it. You're
lucky.' First check his work to make sure it was done properly,
then act as though you are disappointed that you have to lose
the treat you were going to give him because you wanted to eat
it. Kids love stuff like that. Parents need to get
involved in training their children to enjoy things. Parents
also need to pitch in and help the kids at times; don't just
make them your little slaves . Occasionally pick up a rag and
help the child dust. When they see you working, they have more
fun doing it together. And for pity sake, don't scream commands
at your children. There's nothing worse than a parent who
screams and yells all of the time. That is a parent who has no
control. It also teaches the child to wait until mom or dad
screams a command before there is necessity to obey.
I can't say that my son is
perfect by any means, but I know that if he were running after a
ball that was about to enter the street and I wasn't able to
grab him in time before a car was rushing down the street, he
would obey my command. This principle can be applied in all
areas of the child's life. Children feel more secure with
reinforced rules and have more respect for the parent.
Sorry that this was so long. I
just think more parents need to invest time into their children,
but unfortunately many are simply too lazy." ~ Jessica
"I stop what I am doing
and monitor my children. When I am busy and tell them to
do something, yet I don't take the time MYSELF to check on
their progress, what kind of message am I sending? When I 'hawk'
over my children, their compliance is much greater." ~
Christy
"When we did our homeschooling we made the kids responsible for their own tasks being completed. They had a chart that listed tasks to be done. If they would ask for something, I would respond, 'Do you have all your stickers done?' They couldn't do the 'fun' activities like computer or recess until they were up to par. There were days they chose to sit and do nothing but they missed out and quickly learned it was much more fun to get the work out of the way." ~ Sandy
Editor's Note: Thanks to all these readers who took time to write! |
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