...of
Good Home Management
Taking the Chore out of Family Chores
In the
June 15, 2005 issue of the newsletter, we asked this
question:
"Does
your family have a system for dividing up family chores? If so, what
creative methods have you found to make sure everyone does his or her fair
share?"
Responses:
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"I have been reading a lot written by Dave Ramsey, the
Financial Peace, 'Get out of Debt' guy, and he thinks that kids should be given
'commission' for jobs they do, rather than allowance. That way they see
that hard work has its rewards. For your daughter, you could
let her do chores for nickels and dimes or for pennies, if she likes those. She can also learn
about saving by watching her pennies and nickles and dimes add up." ~
Chris
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"Being an 'abondoned' family we all had to pitch in.
Each of my children chose a night to cook and clean up.
Inevitably my son chose Sunday night to avoid conflict with
his sports schedule and the menu was ALWAYS spaghetti.
I cooked on Saturday. Mornings, I cooked breakfast while the
kids showered after our morning chores. My son cared for the
cattle and pigs, one daughter the sheep and goats,
including milking, another daughter for the rabbits and
chickens and the last for the house pets. In the evening
this routine was repeated, other than the evening meal
rotation. We all helped cut firewood on the weekends and
shared the gardening, preserving, haying and fun.
The money we earned was spread on the table (cash-young
children cannot grasp the concept of checks or credit
cards), along with the bills and activity calendar.
The money for each bill was stacked on top of it. We
calculated the needs from the store and set aside that
money, then stacked the necessary funds on the activity
calendar to cover the expenses of 4-H, Ball, Cheerleading,
etc. We put the tithes on Sunday, took out for food,
half of what was left was put into savings and we equally
divided what was left between us. Why not? They helped
earn the money. Surprisingly they saved most of what
they earned for responsible purchases of things they
actually needed...not 'junk' or toys.
All the children felt they were important contributing
members of the family. They've all grown up to be
responsible adults." ~ Marie
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"After reading your newsletter, I thought I'd share what
ended up working for us after years of trial and error.
We have 3 children, and 3 main household rooms - living room,
dining room, kitchen. Each week one child was assigned one of
those rooms. Since some rooms are clearly more chore-heavy, we
rotate weekly. In our home the living room is the least work,
so the downstairs bathroom which is used by everyone, was
attached to that room. If the kitchen is a mess, I know who 'has
the kitchen' and that child is called upon to take care of it."
~ Eva
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"As a child I was given an allowance whether I performed
my chores or not. My husband was never given any kind of
allowance, whether he performed his chores or not. We
strongly feel that these two extremes resulted in neither of us
learning how to manage our finances well. Therefore, we
feel it is crucial to our children's future for them to gain a
good understanding of the relationship between work and money,
for starters. I recently devised a system where my children earn
a weekly allowance based on how well they perform their chores.
They each have a list of what they are expected to do posted in
their room, and they get a smiley or a frowny face on their
chart every day, depending on their performance. A smiley earns
20 cents, a frowny earns nothing. The method is in its beginning
stages, so it's difficult to tell exactly how well this will
teach my children that only work earns you money. But, since
each of them has earned a few frowny faces, it is starting to
dawn on them that no work equals no money, and they already know
that no money equals no fun." ~ Rebecca
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"We started our children doing chores at about 4 years
old. Simple things came first: set the table (napkin, silverware, plates if unbreakable); empty the trash cans(
small room-sized cans only); replace the bags in the newly emptied trash cans; dusting low-lying pieces of
furniture, chair rails or baseboard moldings; put away clothing; pick up toys; and make own bed. Yes,
the bed will look sloppy, but leave it alone, they've made it!
Allowances were never paid in our home. My husband's
theory was this: Mama was home all day taking care of the
house without 'pay'. Daddy felt everyone should be aware
that living in a home required a certain amount of upkeep
and work on the part of everyone living there. He did
(and still does!) chores too. This eases the burden on Mama who is writing and selling on
eBay
and keeping home and family together and allows her to have
the same free time others enjoy.
We DO pay for certain jobs however: mowing the lawn, raking
leaves, painting porches, washing cars, washing windows etc.
For a smaller child we've always found easy jobs that needed
doing and were easily supervised: cleaning trash out of the car; helping to pile
up leaves or grass; washing the wheels of the car (as an
older sibling washed it); or helping by handing out the
items that cluttered lower cabinets, etc., when parent's
were de-cluttering. We've even paid for our smallest
for 'kitty-sitting' while we painted a porch or deck!"
~ Terri C.
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"We have two boys, ages 5 and 3, who have daily chores.
We start them small and work up. Every day, our 5 year old puts
away the dishes, minus the silverware and the ceramic plates (I
do those, though he is capable), vacuums the kitchen, and waters
the dog. We do not give an allowance for these things as they
are part of 'being a family,' but we do offer extra jobs on
occasion to allow him to earn a little money (no more than $1 at
a time). He started out just putting away the dishes. The
animals, he sort of started on his own, and the floors were just
started by Dad. He still has to have a push to get started but
sees that it doesn't take long. I make sure they are done first
thing after breakfast because once he goes outside in the
afternoon (we homeschool), any hope of chores or schooling are
lost to the exuberance of the moment. The 3-year-old only has to
put away the silverware so far and still takes a bit of
supervision but he is following his brother's lead and sometimes
they get together and help each other finish faster!" ~
Melissa
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"We have three children: a daughter
16, and two boys 11 and 10. They have always helped around the
house. They do not get paid for this with one exception. My husband
pays the boys $2.50 each for cutting the grass. One does the front yard
and one the back. My husband does the edging, weed-wacking and cleanup. He
will also pay them for washing the cars, around $1 each. They wash
the outside only and sometimes vacuum the inside. I think he pays them
more for that.
When they were little, around 5, they would empty the trash cans in the
bathrooms and bedrooms. They would collect the laundry and bring it to the
laundry room. They always had to clean their rooms and make their
beds. By the time they were 9 or 10, they were sorting laundry, vacuuming
the house, emptying the dishwasher, letting the dog out, giving her food
and water, feeding the fish, getting clothes out of the dryer and bringing
them into the family room, folding laundry and putting it away. They would
change the sheets on their beds. My 11 year old has learned to clean
bathrooms. My daughter mop floors, does laundry, dust, cleans brass and
irons. She, like her mother, doesn't clean bathrooms. That's my husband's
job. I trim all the bushes and do most of the weeding but the boys help
clean up. My husband keeps up the pool.
The children are not responsible for all these chores on any regular
basis. They do them as requested with the exception of cleaning their
room. The boys pretty much vacuum daily. We have a Bouvier and she
drops hair constantly. Black hair on white tile, all sorts of yard stuff,
it just doesn't work. I am full-time working mother. For 4 weeks of
the year I work 6 days a week and for 6 weeks of the year I work 7 days so
everyone has learned to help. During that time I put in very long days,
but I never miss my boys baseball games. My husband is very good. He
does everything around the house that I do, and something that I don't
(like bathrooms and ironing). I pay all the bills and do the grocery and
other shopping. He takes the boys to practice, boy scouts etc.
We have always shared household chores and the children help out." ~
Natalie
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"Our family treats chores
and allowance separately. We want them to realize that chores
will ALWAYS be a part of life, so paying them for work didn't
seem appropriate. However, we DO want them to learn how to
handle money, tithe and save. They have two cans marked 'tithe'
and 'savings.' When they get their allowance, those monies
are place in the cans before we do any spending of the rest!
We give them $1.00 for each school grade they have completed
(i.e. 3rd grade, $3.00) Rotating chores weekly works for us so
nobody gets stuck with the yucky ones like cleaning the cats'
boxes! We DO use allowance as one of the privileges that
can be taken away as punishment.
Keep up the great newsletter!" ~ Amy M.
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"I needed a new way to
get help from my kids, 13, 11, 9 and 7, with the chores
without complaint. I divided the house up into zones,
similar to the Flylady. We have four kids hence, four
zones; kitchen, laundry/deck, living room/den, and bathroom.
The kids spend one week in each zone doing whatever needs to
be done that is age appropriate. Our kids just happen to be in
the order of boy, girl, boy, girl so if a younger child needs
help then his/her older 'buddy' is to help them. For example, when
my youngest was too little to use bathroom cleanser, her
sister had to help her with that part of her chores. It isn't
a burden to the older kids though because laundry and bathroom
are buddies and living room and kitchen are buddies. When the
younger kids are in a 'heavier zone,' the older kids are in
lighter zones and have the time to help. Mom also floats
pitching in whenever needed.
Our zones also help for those
little, spur-of-the-moment jobs that need to be done. If
I'm cooking and need something, then I don't have to try to
remember who I asked last or whatever I simply look at the
chart and the 'kitchen' kid is the one I call to help me.
When my youngest is in the laundry zone, I have to help her
load the machine because she simply isn't tall enough yet to
reach the buttons.
Household and yard chores are
not tied to allowances because we all live here so we all have
to help. Allowances are tied into their school work
(their job). As long as they are getting good grades and
doing their school work on time, then allowances happen.
Raises happen yearly, when they graduate to a new grade."
~ Dianne
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"My husband and I have
six children and we began a chore system approximately 5 or 6
years ago that works for us. The daily chores for the four
older children are Garbage, Set Table, Clear Table and Floor.
Each child is assigned the chore for the week and on Sunday
the person on Garbage moves to the bottom of the list (floor)
and everyone else moves up a space. The assignments for the
week are listed on the family calendar and I do these up
monthly. You could add to these chores quite easily - load
dishwasher, wash dishes, dry dishes, etc as you see fit.
The animal chores are done
daily and again each child is assigned one aspect of the
chore, i.e. feed and water cats, clean litter box, etc. We
also have Saturday morning chores where everyone is
responsible for cleaning their room, picking up everything on
the floor, and putting things that don't belong in their rooms
away. One child then is responsible for vacuuming the basement
family room, one responsible for the stairs, etc. Saturday
morning chores have been a big help in that I know that
everyone's room will be picked up at least once a week and
dirty laundry will make it into the basket so I bite my tongue
during the week about the mess.
We do not pay the children to
do chores as we believe that helping out is being part of a
family. When one child thought he should be paid we told
him our philosophy and told him that if we gave him say, $3.00
per week for his chores, then he would need to pay us for
laundry services, food services, etc. and he soon saw our
point." ~ GG in Alberta
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"In our family our daughter (age 5)
has chores such as: keep her room clean, set the table, put her dirty
clothes in the hamper. And she does NOT get an allowance. We explain to
her that this is just general maintenance on our house which we all
share. If she wants money then she needs to do chores over and above
what she's already doing (i.e. helping us clean out the garage or simple
weeding in the yard) and she will get a little bit of money (like $1).
This way she doesn't come to expect to be paid for just doing what she
should do in the first place." ~ Suzie
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"The first chores my little ones
were assigned was to fold the washcloths and empty the silverware out of
the dishwasher. (I took out the sharp knives first). A small
child can do this while you are folding the other clothes or while you
are emptying the dishwasher. They get a great sense of
accomplishment and are soon ready to move on to more responsibility.
At our house we have more chores in the summer when homework is not
demanding the kids time. We do not pay for chores, but if the kids
want to earn money they can do another job for a set price." ~
Rachel
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Editor's Note: Thanks to everyone who took the
time to respond.
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